Friday, July 8, 2011

Yeah, I'm a Simpleton

My Stupidity Index usually surpasses my Competence Index.

Earlier this week, the household sink's garbage disposer packed up. Sounded like it had chewed a piece of metal, and it would not budge.

"It's a goner," I said, with male confidence. Purchased a new disposer from Home Depot (who are very nice to their employees) and brought it home. Fancy piece, 3/4 hp, over $200. Well-reviewed on Consumer Reports.

Plumber guy came over, peered into the thing's maw with a flashlight, probed into it with a magnetic retriever and fished out a screw. A #8 X 1/2'' pan Phillips sheet metal screw with a black finish.

"Well, there's your problem," he said. Fired up the disposer which ran as sweetly as a $12,000 record turntable on air bearings.

Mrs Elliott looked at me. I felt somewhat cretinish.

I have no idea where that screw came from, or how it got close enough to the kitchen sink to fall in. But I am 99 and 44/100ths sure that the screw wasn't part of the disposer. And I suspect that it came from me. I mean, how many women typically wander about with loose #8 X 1/2'' pan Phillips sheet metal screws in standard steel with a (could have been oil or wax) black finish?

I did it and I are a nitwit.


  1. "Purchased a new disposer from Home Depot (who are very nice to their employees)"

    Home Depot has a long record of being anti-union; see

    I believe it's Lowe's that treats its employees well. Or relatively well.

  2. I'm glad you resisted the temptation to write something about having a screw loose.


------------ Facebook update page widget added 3/2012 --------------
------------ ends facebook update page widget -------------