Monday, July 25, 2011

If The Cops Show Up It's A Good Party

Never let a biker's girlfriend tend bar. That's the take-home lesson I learned this weekend.

We had our annual summer lawn party on Saturday. About 35 or 40 guests, friends, family. It was a "luau" theme and there were weeks of preparation. Rented tables and chairs, hired a band, invited neighbors so they would not call the cops (someone across the valley did, anyway, but the band turned it down a bit and we weren't bothered after that), put tiki torches around the yard, set up small charcoal hibachis on tables and provided skewered meats and veggies for folk to cook. Guests were encouraged to wear their tackiest luau outfits. Some were very tacky. I chose "Creepy Old Guy Who Thinks He Is Much Younger Than He Really Is" for my costume. I think I pulled it off very well.
That creepy old Jack Elliott with two daughters-in-law.
Reid of Dump City Dumplings setting up to provide
appetizers, behind. 

I bought wine (three bottles each of two reds, two rosé's, and two whites), and a pony keg of Trumer Pils beer. Also the makings for Mai Tai's: rums, orgeat, Triple Sec, simple syrup, limes, cocktail straws and umbrellas.

We hired a bartender with an OLCC permit to do the mixing and pouring. While setting up I learned that her boyfriend was a Harley biker dude without a job. Her income pays for him and his bike. This is something I never quite get about women, why some find that life so attractive. Just look at the men and women in a biker bar and you are looking at your future--but hey her life and all that.

She mixed up the first trial Mai Tai and gave it to me to approve. It was tasty.

Shortly into the party the bartender announced that we were running out of rum. A neighbor volunteered to made a rum run.

Now, I don't normally make or consume cocktails and had figured that 1.5 liters of golden rum and 750 ml of dark rum would be sufficient for this group, that most people would drink wine or beer. Alarm bells should have been going off at this point.

But instead I had a couple glasses of wine, another Mai Tai or two, was barbecuing a skewer of shrimp when the world came crashing down on me. I was plastered and it was all I could do to get upstairs and fall onto the bed, humiliated. That would have been around 8 pm.

I missed the entire second half of the party. I woke up at dawn, feeling pretty miserable, not just physically, but mentally: I was ashamed and angry with myself. We worked so hard on this party and I passed out halfway through.

I reviewed how much I remembered drinking and it just wasn't enough to explain what happened to me. But I did drink on an empty stomach and I was certain that was what I had done wrong.

Mrs Elliott with same two daughters-in-law.
Fortunately, when an exhausted but happy Mrs Elliott got up she said that everyone had a great time, the band had folk up and dancing, and that I wasn't the only one who got pretty drunk. Several people had to be sent home in cabs.

So this morning I got an email from Paul (the Computer Guy) Spencer and he tells me that he saw the bartender pour at least six shots of rum into a Mai Tai and hand it to an unsuspecting guest.

So -- two things that don't mix well:

1. Empty stomach, and
2. Mai Tai's mixed by a biker's girlfriend. 

Next party--and there will be a next party and I plan to be there the whole time--there will be a discussion with the bartender about how much booze to put in the drinks.

1 comment:

  1. "I wasn't the only one who got pretty drunk."

    True dat. The Mai Tais were strong -- although I watched the barteder mix mine and she only put one shot of rum in each. (I had two.) Maybe she lost her ability to count as the evening went on.

    Anyway, great party. It was a stone groove, mah man!


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