Monday, August 17, 2009

Scurrilous Rumor Quashed

Last week I wrote how an evil Mr. Potter-like landlord was said to be forcing out Choclat e Gateaux, Marz and Astro Lounge.

Someone tipped the Source Weekly's Eric Flowers to my posting and he has followed up and largely laid the rumor to rest. Read it here.

We at Jack and Mrs. Elliott Move to Bend (Bend's #1 newsblog*) are shocked, shocked, that our sources are less than trustworthy, and have taken this time to reëxamine our policy of obtaining information through the use of torture. We have decided that techniques such as plying sources with blended, rather than single-malt scotch; and keeping our reporter up past his bedtime of 10pm, will no longer be countenanced. We are considering setting up a fact-check department, but so far, all the candidates have tried to sneak a bite out of the bowlful of obviously fake papier-mâché fruit on the kitchen table.

We apologize for the inconvenience but go away knowing that since Chocolat e Gateaux has folded its tent as predicted, part of the rumor was accurate. Just the less-interesting part. We regret that a computer screen cannot, in most cases, be used to wrap fish.

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* July 28, 2009 -- New York Times/CBS News poll. The poll of 1 adults (me), has a margin of sampling error of plus or minus, like, a hundred percentage points.

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