Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Whiner Takes Over Jack's Body

Hello. I'm Jack's inner whiner. I've taken over Jack's body and his blogging duties. I'm here to whine about how NOT FUN it is to be recovering from this stupid ankle fusion surgery.

One thing's for sure: Jack might experience some catharsis, but there's nothing here of worth for the average Joe. I'm not even going to try to make it interesting or well-written. Just whining. Move along, nothing to see here.

You've been warned. Erase this now.


It's now been over six weeks of acute pain and disability.

The past couple of days have been pretty uncomfortable; discouraging and depressing. I keep looking for hopeful signs that things are getting better: with less pain, more mobility. But nothing much--just more of the same tedious grind.

Wake up in pain, crutch to the bathroom, empty my pee bottle, crutch back to bed, straighten the bedding with its odor of pain-sweat and unwashed man body, arrange my pillows so I can sit up better, take my pain pills and wait for Mrs Elliott to wake up, and crutch into the kitchen to join her while she makes tea and breakfast for me (coffee and breakfast for her). Then back to bed until lunch, then back to bed until dinner, then back to bed until TV time, then into the living room for a couple hours of digitally-televised entertainment, then back to bed for sleep.

Evenings are exhausting: I run a small fever which saps me of my energy and spirit. And brains. Pain zombies have eaten my brains. It's like the last part of Flowers For Algernon when his mind is fading. It's HAL in 2001 when his higher-order brain functions are being shut down.

I can feel it happening: Sometimes Two and a Half Men is too challenging for me.

The horror.

That's pretty much been the drill. I have to keep the ankle elevated so bed's the place and bed is a fucking boring place to stay, even with being able to stay in touch with my business and customers and vendors through the miracle of web-based communications.

The pharmacist said that ankle fusions are among the worst in terms of pain and slowness of recovery, a fact that is both validating and depressing: At least I'm not the only one who has found this experience to be pretty awful. But I want to be better now! (waa, waa.)

Doc is cutting back on my pain meds. The plus is that I'm in less of a pain-killer fog all the time, the minus is that there are these AMAZING new pains and aches.

And it's really frustrating to always have to ask Mrs Elliott for everything I need.

My ass is sore from being sit on all the frickin' time.



  1. Hey Jack.
    Fun is in mind, so don't listen to the body pain zombies. I had a surgery few years back and met the zom's. If they are the same one's you're talking about, have to make a deal with them. Something like treat everybody in your world fuckin' awesome and they leave you be more in peace then in pain. There is a range to the pain experience, I've found. Best wishes through your recovery and refusing. Emo.

  2. Jack, don't let people like the previous anonymous commenter make you feel guilty about feeling miserable. Pain hurts. It's normal to feel bad when you have pain. And it's perfectly legitimate to bitch and moan about it. So if that makes you feel better, go ahead and do it. Hope you're feeling better soon.

  3. 1st Anonymous here again (Emo) -- guilt has nothing to do with it. The hurting can be relentless or it can have breaks. The intensity, it's up to you Jack. Make a deal BEFORE the next pain session strikes or it could be indeterminable chaos. I'm not making predictions, it's just my experience that it is much easier to welcome who shows up (zombies or friendlies) when the deal is made in advance, so as to be prepared. That's all. No guilt.

  4. You don't have a large recliner? Sounds like you could use one...


  5. A La-Z-Lounger? A Barca-Boy? Nah, my dad had one of those, Frazier's dad had one of those, I don't have one.

    Kind of wish I did, tho . . .

  6. So Emo, you sayin, if Jack just promise be nice to everybody, pain be less?

    Sorry, me no believe in magical thinkin.

  7. More about how peaceful is the pain then if the quantity be less or not. I don't know. Probably a case by case question. For me, I hurt less intensely when I offer my awesome best to others. If not, I hear about it during the pain louder. Being nice is not what I'm referring to. But yeah, I guess it's a kinda formula.


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