Thursday, January 29, 2009

Now -- About Them Steelers and Cardinals...

I'm not much of a football fan. Ball sports. Giant men running back and forth across a court, bulky men mashing into each other on a field, grown men chewing tobacco while wearing pajamas, and other men of various sizes and attire variously swinging, batting or racqueting at balls of various sizes ... such things hold little interest for me.

Nor do I have any affinity for any football team, most likely because my family moved around so much when I was a kid and I had to go to so many junior high and high schools that I quickly figured out that "team spirit" only makes sense when you've never gone to the other high school that your former high school wanted to crush. 

So I've never managed to get very worked up over team sports; their odd and arbitrary rules remind me of 43-Man Squamish, Mad Magazine's 1965 sendup of ball sports. (Wikipedia article here.)

Besides, as either Ernest Hemingway or Ken Purdy (author of the story "Blood Sport") or Barnaby Conrad said,"There are only three sports: bullfighting, motor racing, and mountaineering; all the rest are merely games."

If there's no risk of death, then it's just playing around. 

Me, I'm happy to have lived long enough that I can see the Tour de France on TV. 

But I kind of enjoy the Super Bowl for the sheer silly spectacle-ness of it. 

I would normally watch the game at home with Mrs Elliott attempting to keep the snacks healthful and the alcohol usage reasonable. But this time Mrs Elliott is away on a business trip and the idea of staying at home, alone, watching the game seems kinda, well, sad.

Clearly, then, what is needed is to find someplace in town to watch the game. 

I'm not a jock, so Neanderthal sports bars filled with (large) jocular men wearing team caps and swilling corporate beers* are not my idea of a suitable place. I must find a venue with a good TV, reasonably well-behaved patrons, and a comfortable seat. 

The hunt is on!

* I.e., any brand of beer that is delivered in a gigantic pickup truck-hauled road-blocking trailer with the beer's name plastered all over it. 

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